The Trust Trap: Three Common Mistakes Leaders Make (and How to Fix Them)

Trust is the currency of high-performing teams. Without it, collaboration suffers, innovation stalls, and engagement craters. Leaders know trust is essential—but too many unknowingly sabotage it while trying to build it.

Why? Because trust isn’t about being nice. It’s not about making everyone feel comfortable all the time. And it’s definitely not about saying the right things while doing the opposite.

In my work with leaders across industries, I see three big mistakes that keep teams from building real trust. If you want a team that’s aligned, engaged, and willing to take smart risks together, here’s what not to do.

🚫 Mistake #1: Mistaking Niceness for Trust

Some leaders believe trust is built by keeping things positive and avoiding difficult conversations. They soften feedback, sidestep tension, and create a “feel-good” environment where no one rocks the boat.

The problem? Trust isn’t about comfort. It’s about clarity and reliability. If people don’t know where they stand—or if tough issues go unaddressed—trust erodes.

✅ What to do instead:

Be kind and direct. Trust comes from honest, constructive feedback and following through on commitments. People trust leaders who tell them the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.

🚫 Mistake #2: Treating Psychological Safety as Agreement Instead of Accountability

Psychological safety is a buzzword right now, but many leaders misunderstand it. They think it means everyone should feel comfortable all the time—so they avoid disagreement, hesitate to challenge ideas, and let poor performance slide.

True psychological safety isn’t the absence of discomfort—it’s the presence of honesty without fear. If your team can’t challenge each other, debate ideas, or hold one another accountable, that’s not psychological safety—it’s avoidance.

✅ What to do instead:

Encourage healthy friction. Model curiosity, ask tough questions, and reward people for speaking up—even when they disagree with you. Teams that challenge each other constructively make better decisions and deepen trust.

🚫 Mistake #3: Focusing on Words Instead of Actions

“I have an open-door policy.”

“We value transparency.”

“We trust our people.”

These are great words. But trust isn’t built through slogans—it’s built through actions. If employees get punished for raising concerns, if leaders react defensively to feedback, or if decisions don’t align with stated values, trust disappears fast.

✅ What to do instead:

Audit your own leadership behaviors. Do your actions match your words? Do you take responsibility when things go wrong? Do you listen when people push back?

Trust isn’t about what you say—it’s about what people experience when it really matters.

For more on trust, dig into The Alchemy of Talent, Vijay’s best-selling new book on leading teams to the best work of their lives!